I am always looking for inspiration. I never cease from seeking some new message to keep me going. On days when inspiration is lacking and motivation is running low, I feel like getting back into bed. There is no use for this empty day. But, then I think of the "Super Me". That's the Jill that I might be capable of being someday. What would she do with a free day? How would she spend it? What amazing things could she accomplish in this space of time?
I already know the kind of person I want to be, so it should be easy. But what if the things that she is capable of doing; i.e meditating for hours, running for longer than five minute sprints, writing a great children's book aren't things that the current me is ready to do. This is the problem with living in a culture of instant gratification. I want to be skillful in so many areas, but I don't want everything to be such a struggle.
Sometimes the attempt provides satisfaction, my running time increases, I get a few illustrations done. Those are the days that make you feel like you could actually do it all! The world seems to have offered itself to you, birds sing, music swells, and all is grand. And this is just the attempt, mind you. But, on average, I feel much less than super. I try to not waste an entire day with these thoughts.
Today, a walk with my sister gave me a chance to breathe. I came back with a bit more clarity. If I just give myself a break, little achievements might add up. The super me is still there. It might help if I think of her as encouragement, instead of a source of guilt.
